I smell the year’s dust burn off the coils and I am immediately put into my place.
The place where I dig even deeper for meaning and someone to share it with. It’s never easy but it’s always necessary. I don’t think it gets easier from here on out, but it certainly becomes more rewarding.
I will dig in, regardless. Another year placing my feet on the ground and putting on enough coffee for one. There is a comfort there that one only has when accepting yourself as loved and cared for because your heart is all yours and you get to indulge in it.
Maybe it is selfish. I don’t give up on other people. I still believe, regardless of how much we hurt one another, that they are the path to the bigger meaning of it all. Feeling selfless is a great feeling, but remembering to also love yourself is even better.
It’s easy to let it get to you — to gnaw into your jaws and clench tight — but you can’t hold it forever. Forever is an awfully long time to let anyone or anything hold you down from who you really are. We’re all still figuring that part out, and some of us never will.
You know your own truths. The truth that maybe you believe cilantro tastes like soap or that you will inevitably love your pets more than your human most of the time. Love is the quietness and understanding, and also the rage within.
Pull it up from your belly and don’t forget to water it and watch it grow. Give it some sunlight and fresh air.
Cut it fresh so that it soaks it in, thirsty for what gives it life and for the knowledge that you will burst open when the moment is right.
And keep your feet warm.
Wear your favorite sweater.
Invest in a tea pot.
Love yourself, and your pets.
Feed and water and give love to both.
Read a poem.
Hug someone because scientifically it’s good for you.
Crunch some leaves.
Eat really good quality chocolate.
Let go of it all for a few moments a day,
wake up, and do it all over again.