I feel like I need to put some stuff out there, to get it out of my head and off my plate.
I don’t have too much room for jetsam and flotsam.
There are some things I’ve been learning that have been helpful in dealing with my day-to-day barrage of anger, confusion, love, greed and acceptance.
I call them tools.
I don’t actually own any real tools. The kind a typical dude should own. I have a hammer in my car. I don’t know why, but I like that it’s there.
These other tools I’m referring to are inside. They allow me to fix some things. They help me get stuff in order. I can adjust them like nuts and bolts and screws.
My first bit of help came from my sister-in-law, who is an endless fountain of simple wisdom, even if she denies it. She told me that the voices we listen to will always exist. It’s okay to notice them, but we don’t have to listen to them. Whether that’s a voice that says you aren’t good enough, or attractive enough or strong enough. You can acknowledge the fact that some external pressure is putting this on you, but you don’t have to let it eat you up. You get to choose what you want to listen to.
There is so much power in this, you see?
You can listen to people, but at the end of the day, your voice is the one that matters most. Move in that.
Move with your voice and let it take you to that place where you feel strong.
I stumbled upon some words my friend Jodi shared. It was about about welcoming all things that might come your way, and letting go of any desire for change or security or survival. Then, open yourself to Love. Whether that love comes from God, or a stream, or whatever name you call it. Let that presence fill you up.
This has been hard for me. I tend to see my days as good or bad. I find myself in good and bad things all day long. So it wasn’t about that.
What this is teaching me, is that all of these things that enter in my world on a daily basis, are part of the healing process. And I will never know how long it will take me to get there. I’m not sure if it’s even about a final, polished product. A favorite writer of mine coined this phrase, “wounded healer”, and maybe that works for me right now. It’s not about the finish point. It’s about getting there. You will never see yourself as a finished product.
Getting a flat tire is a bummer.
Getting in the weeds when you’re cooking on the line, is stressful.
But, those sorts of things don’t define a bad day for me anymore.
Look at each day as an ellipsis into the next.
I guess I just want to say that you and the great things that live inside of you are important in all of this. For whoever reads this. Or for whoever just is.
You have something inside of you that flows like a spring.
Let us see that.